The Four Things
There are few things as inspiring as attending a funeral for a Christian with a life well lived. How moving are the stories told by people who were blessed by living with or working beside a dedicated Christian. When a child or relative of this person stands and relates how they have felt loved and encouraged by their grandmother, uncle, or friend those hearing those comments certainly hope that similar words can be said about them at the end.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Tensions and issues left unaddressed have a way of contaminating the “hoped for” peace. That is why hospice chaplains talk with individuals and their families about the importance of thinking about and voicing these four statements
“Please forgive me.” Few couples, parents, children, co-workers and church attenders can live very long without ruffling the feathers of someone else, perhaps even leading to great anger, despair and perhaps revulsion. Words and actions can surely wound. The injured and the offender often nurse hostilities for years and refuse to talk to or be in the same room with the other party. Facing death, one has to ask themselves has all this anger been worth it? What a terrible price we pay for such ruptured relationships. Maybe it is time now, while we can, to ask for forgiveness.
Those who have been wronged and have held a grudge for years may also find that it is now time to say, “I forgive you.” Those are liberating words. Your spirit will find quick relief not having to carry this emotional burden any longer. Let go of this anger and resentment. How important it is for those wounds to begin to be healed.
As a hospice chaplain, it was my great pleasure to watch four daughters-in-law gather about the bed of the matriarch who was dying. With tears in their eyes, they each told her “Thank you. You have been so supportive and encouraging to me.” So much better than flowers at the funeral are hearing, while you can still respond, one or more of your loved ones say “Thank you!” It is a gift that blesses both the giver and the receiver. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you.
Finally, how important it is to say “I love you” to the one who is dying and for them to be able to say the same to you. There are so many who seldom hear “I love you” from those they have lived with or known for so many years. We just do not say it enough.
These four things are good say throughout life. How much richer our lives would be if we asked for forgiveness and forgave those who have offended us, even if they never asked for it. You cannot say “Thank You” and “I love you” too many times. If you have trouble doing one or more of these four things, I highly recommend that you contact a counselor at LifeCare Counseling Center and work through these issues now. Call (502) 581-1258 to make an appointment. -Dale Tucker, Chairman, LifeCare Board
LifeCare Counseling Center, 1143 S. 3rd St, Suite C (502) 581-1258 www.lifecarelouisville.org
